Triangles
Triangles are the ugliest of shapes, all sharp corners stick your fingers bleed. I much prefer circles, igloos, the blue-white heat repetitiveness, safety. Cocoons. I’m too much like an ostrich and by the time I spat the sand out I was impaled on your angles.
More than anything I want to be fucked. Hard. Degraded. Demeaned. I don’t want this new vocabulary. I don’t know if I want to be you, stretched out, exposed on that table or if I want to be her, paid for and bought. I want to feel what you felt, and I want to see what she saw. I want to be privy to that conversation, I want you on my useless hands. I want to slip into the warmth of her body, feel her mouth tight around my cock. I want to look into your face when I touch you. I want to repeat her store bought lies. I want to feel the mattress hug my body as it sags beneath my weight. I want to be inside your head. I want to think your thoughts. I want to know if I was there. Did the thought of me make you cum harder? I want to be held down, bound, violated again and again. I want to hurt. I want to beg. I want to silently cry. I want to see me through your eyes.
gorgeous. the voice in this is so strong and brutal in a beautiful way.
lissa
September 14, 2008 at 8:40 pm
thank you Lissa, brutal is exactly how it feels too. you always get it. x
thehappymisfit
September 16, 2008 at 11:02 pm
When I felt betrayed by a man once, I used to dream I was fucking his new girlfriend. This brought that conflict to mind. [Incidentally, my therapist said that was a completely normal response.]
Ani
September 16, 2008 at 11:08 pm
It seems rather futile and feeble to say that this is an extremely captivating and powerful piece of writing. So I won’t. [But it is.]
An Unreliable Witness
September 16, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Ani, i think you just saved me.
AUW, hello. not futile or feeble. thank you. i just feel kind of naked putting this out there really.
thehappymisfit
September 16, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Sex is such a curious act.
Puss
Glamourpuss
September 17, 2008 at 5:55 pm
wow…
your writing blows me away..
i love that deep dark strong voice that doesnt give a shit what others are thinking..
i normally keep mines for my journal..
you have the courage to say yours aloud
you put smile crinkles on my face..
an ease
a kindle spirit like i know you..not you the person…but you the anger and voice and feeling between the writing..i feel i know and recognize that person in myself and its
so scary and self liberating..
you were born to write..
candyadderley
September 18, 2008 at 4:39 pm
[...] here I am. Again. Triangles: obtuse, sharp. Wide open, I cannot be taken by surprise. Except by my own stubborn will. I am, [...]
So Far Away, Miles Away « The Happy Misfit
December 29, 2008 at 8:26 am